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A typical day of championship cancer winning looks like this. Part One.

Posted by on May 17, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Gerson Therapy, What Cancer Feels Like | 6 comments

A typical day of championship cancer winning looks like this. Part One.

For those playing along at home, a recap: In July 2012 I found out I had Stage 4 cancer. In a single moment my life changed forever. Cancer — melanoma, a killer — had spread to my brain. Doctors expected me to live only a few months. They sent me home to die, with a wad of prescriptions in my hand. According to doctors I should be dead now. But I’m still here. You can’t get rid of me that fast, cancer! MUAHAHAHA! If doctors didn’t believe I could reverse cancer’s seeming-inevitable march toward death, who would?...

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My Mother’s Eulogy

Posted by on May 16, 2013 in Best of The Goddess, Death + Dying, Goddesslicious | 6 comments

My Mother’s Eulogy

My mother’s body was buried today. I wrote something to be read at the service since I can’t be there.   Jane Elizabeth Harrer, March 21, 1935 — May 2, 2013. Child of the Depression My mother, Jane, was born during the Great Depression, the younger child of Clarence and Beatrice. She grew up in a Chicago suburb surrounded by family, living next door to her aunt and uncle and spending lazy summers by the river. By all accounts, she had a wonderful childhood filled with family, love, and animals. Jane’s father, Clarence,...

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Leaving (…not on a jet plane)

Posted by on May 10, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, Love + Relationship | 5 comments

Leaving (…not on a jet plane)

I am a bad, bad person. Bear with me here, I can hear your thoughts. Stop saying in your head No, Talyaa, you’re not bad! and just let me have my belief, will you? Bad, bad, bad. Why bad? Because I am a Leaver. When things get tough, the tough get going. Going far, far away. I am not tough. I am a coward. Hence the leaving. Leaving is easier than staying and facing the hard things. Let’s talk about why this is even a Thing, why the Leaving needs to be written about. Number One, I am making amends to my soulmate via this post. More...

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Farewell, Mom: Jane Elizabeth Asbury, Mar 21 1935 – May 2 2013

Posted by on May 6, 2013 in Death + Dying, Love + Relationship | 2 comments

Farewell, Mom: Jane Elizabeth Asbury, Mar 21 1935 – May 2 2013

I’m half an orphan now. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but goddamn it my mother died last week and I now feel as if my umbilicus was ripped out by its roots and I’m floating, unanchored and adrift. Motherless. I hate this feeling. I know it will change, and I knew my mom would die some day (right? we know this?) but OMFG I had no idea how it would feel. Let me tell you about my mom. Jane. Jane was born during the Great Depression, the younger child of Clarence and Bea. They lived in a Chicago suburb, next door to Jane’s aunt...

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They Say It’s My Birthday — Birthing My Next 50 Years

Posted by on Apr 30, 2013 in Cancer Goddess | 4 comments

They Say It’s My Birthday — Birthing My Next 50 Years

As of today I’ve lived on this planet in this body for FIFTY YEARS. (pardon me while I chant omg omg omg and hyperventilate into a paper bag) It’s my birthday. I’m having a birthday and eating sushi and getting wee gifts and thinking about the cake I’m not having, and my mother is dying. What exquisite juxtaposition! One life departing. Another girds her goddess loins for another fifty years of awesome. Saying goodbye to Jane I didn’t really know my mother — not her Real Self — until she got Alzheimer’s....

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Reboot Required: This Is Not How I Want To Live

Posted by on Apr 12, 2013 in Cancer Healing, Love + Relationship, What Cancer Feels Like | 4 comments

Reboot Required: This Is Not How I Want To Live

My-neighbor-the-doctor posted a piece today on the words we use to describe our relationship to illness and disease. Battling cancer. He gave it a good fight. Bring out the big guns. Help fight cancer! I’ve always hated the war words. They never felt right. I reposted the piece (go here and read it) and added: I am not battling cancer or fighting cancer. I am learning to LIVE. Cancer just happens to be part of the path I’m on to get there. I’m such a fucking liar. Okay, back up. Maybe I’m not entirely a liar. But dang...

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Scan Day Results — Full Moon Edition

Posted by on Mar 27, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, What Cancer Feels Like | 6 comments

Scan Day Results — Full Moon Edition

Yesterday was Scan Day. For those of you who have ever had worrisome alien things happening in your body or the body of someone you love, you know what Scan Day means. For the rest of you, well, Scan Day is a test. A Life Test. Remember your SATs? Number 2 pencils, a graphing calculator, weeks of nailbiting. At some point you leave the whole thing in someone else’s hands because you have no choice. The test is over. You did how you did. No going back. But when the results envelope comes you rip it open, gnawing at it, tearing it in your...

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Niblets and Old Lady Arms

Posted by on Mar 18, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, What Cancer Feels Like | 4 comments

Niblets and Old Lady Arms

In the April of your 49th year, your breasts will slide down your chest. It won’t happen all at once, but there will be a day where you will wake up to find that your left breast isn’t where you left it last night. No, your left breast will have fled south for warmer climes (it will head for Mexico but stop short of your waist). Your right breast will follow its mate not long after. Two deflated sagging pancakes pasted to your chest. You will sigh with dismay, wonder whether you are approaching menopause, cinch up your lacy...

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Asking and Receiving

Posted by on Mar 6, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 2 comments

Asking and Receiving

I watched a TED talk this week that blew my mind. Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking. Brilliant. Perfect. And oh so connected to my recent experience. Perhaps you’ve seen our plea for help? Help Continue the Grand Love Story of Kahuna and Akua. Yeah, that’s me. Akua. We posted the plea to Facebook and sent the link around to a few friends. People are freaking awesome. FREAKING AWESOME. Within minutes people had sent us money! My Kahuna ran up the stairs to me when he saw the first Paypal notifications roll in. We held one...

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Fake it ’til you make it

Posted by on Mar 5, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, What Cancer Feels Like | 3 comments

Fake it ’til you make it

Oh, holy hell. This cancer thing is HARD WORK. Pain everywhere, most of the time. The kind of tired that naps don’t fix. Vats of bitter green juice. 50-pound bags of carrots. Brain fuzz. Suckage of all kinds. I’m super tired of it. Fuck cancer. OPTION A — Give up, give in, die die die. Okay, fine. My Kahuna cringes when I mention this as an option. However! We must keep no stone unturned. What’s so bad about dying? I dunno, except I’m not ready to. So back off, Scary Hooded Dude Carrying a Scythe. Go home. OPTION B...

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What’s so bad about dying?

Posted by on Feb 25, 2013 in Cancer Goddess, Death + Dying | 3 comments

What’s so bad about dying?

Oh come on. Perfectly plausible question. What’s so bad about dying? Most of us go our whole lives trying to avoid it. Yet, none of us can, not under conditions as we understand them to be. But why? What is so bad about being dead? When you’re dead, you’re not alive [insert a buffalo-sized DUH here]. Okay, I understand that. Dead = not alive. Being alive means you get to play in this beautiful playground we think of as life on earth. Being alive means you get to play with people you love and who love you. Being alive means...

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New oncologist, same old story

Posted by on Feb 20, 2013 in Cancer Goddess | 4 comments

New oncologist, same old story

Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking last week when I made an appointment with a new oncologist for yesterday. This makes 4 so far, and only one is a keeper. Even though the keeper oncologist (the one who did my Gamma Knife radiation for brain mets) knows nothing about holistic cancer healing like Gerson therapy, Iscador, Vitamin C IVs, and all the things that I am doing on my cancer healing program, she says to keep doing it! It’s working! The other three oncologists seem to think that we’re lying or mistaken or...

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