I feel scared. I feel joyful. I feel nervous. I feel peaceful.
I believe my soulmate husband will do everything in his power to try to make sure all goes well. This man has said he has my back, and I believe him.
Exhausted. Got up super early (7am, 4-5 hours earlier than I usually awake) and we drove up to LA so I could have a brain MRI and an EKG and we could meet with the radiation nurse and the radiation doctor.
Last week we went to LA to meet our new rockstar radiation guy. The radiation doctor today works for Doctor Rockstar, the surgeon. I am scheduled for brain radiation (to the tumor that won’t be lasered in tomorrow’s surgery) next week, depending on my healing. Everyone seemed professional and personable, at least to a woman with brain tumors.
I could hardly walk. My beloved got me a wheelchair and he pushed me around. I know I’m pretty sick because I let him do it and it was a relief.
Oh! MRI results! The big tumor that’s slated to get zapped with laser surgery tomorrow grew since early December. It’s nearly 3cm now, spherical in shape, four times as big as it was when we first found out about it. The other big tumor didn’t grow much but it’s pretty close to my optic nerve. Less than a 10% chance, the doctor said, of radiation to it causing vision problems. Ehhhh.
Tonight I will pack and take a shower and wash my hair with the surgical hand scrub they gave me, and my love will do my juicing for me and then we will snuggle together and talk about magic and how much we love one another. And then I will sleep and we will wake up at THREE AM to drive to LA.
Any love you send will be eagerly absorbed, to help fortify me for the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
7:15 am Pacific time tomorrow, Tuesday February 3 2015 is my date with brain destiny.
And please send love to my beloved, who will likely post updates and be incredibly nervous until he sees me all right again.
Much love, as always.