I am a garden
It’s a lazy Saturday morning and Soulmate and I are sitting upstairs in the corner bedroom. Sunlight streams in through one of the windows and warms the soft blanket where Miss Persnickety Kitty is curled up, sleeping. A soft breeze outside stirs the branches of the big tree that guards the other window. It is a day to tend to the garden.
We started using the garden metaphor when all this cancer stuff came up just 2 weeks ago. I am a beautiful garden. We all are. My garden has weeds now — cancer. If we tend to this garden and make it stronger, beautiful flowers will crowd out the weeds. There will be no place for weeds to live. They won’t survive. The garden will keep getting stronger and more and more beautiful.
No weedkillers for me
Some people work on their gardens by killing the weeds. But weedkiller also kills flowers. At the very least it makes them weaker. I am not willing to lose any of my flowers. Weedkillers are not for me.
What am I doing to beautify and strengthen my garden?
Think about it. What does a garden need? Nutrients. Water. Light. Fertilizers. Community.
Plants get theirs through the soil. We do too, if you think about it. When everything we eat comes from good soil, we are healthy. When we eat foods grown in depleted soils or when we eat foods that aren’t really foods, we don’t get the nutrients we need.
When I got out of the hospital, first thing Soulmate did was make a trip to the produce section of Whole Foods. He came back loaded with armfuls of carrots, apples, kale, beets, spinach, blueberries, onions, garlic, adzuki beans, and sweet potatoes. Then he purged our refrigerator and pantry of everything that didn’t fit into our powered-up nutrient-dense eating. Rice crackers? Gone. Almond milk with cane sugar? Gone.
This is what I eat. Everything is organically grown:
- 1-2 large glasses daily of freshly-juiced fruits and vegetables: carrot, apple, lime, ginger.
- Cooked vegetables like kale, onions, sweet potatoes, beets.
- Salads and raw vegetables like lettuce + green onions
- Adzuki and black beans
- Hard-boiled eggs
- Fresh fruits: cherries, blueberries, strawberries.
- Snacks: almonds, green tea, and Goji berries
And this is what I don’t eat and probably won’t either ever or for two years:
- Coffee, black tea
- Sugar in any form
- Cheese or dairy
- Salt in any form except Bragg’s
- Processed foods of any kind
And this is what I don’t eat now but will add back in several weeks:
- Organic free-range chicken
- High quality grass-fed organic beef
A weedy garden like mine thrives on an acidic environment. I cut out acidic foods and emphasize alkalizing foods. This so far is Step One, a transition. We’ve bought a better juicer and are delving into the world of Step Two, Gerson therapy, a radical dietary healing approach with an awesome track record for healing cancer in general and my kind of cancer (melanoma) in particular (and a way better track record than the approach my oncologist wanted to use). In Step Two I’ll make further cuts.
Soulmate is the primary waterer on my garden. Every day he does things that water it. He has done this watering as long as we’ve known each other, but it is more important now than ever. How does Soulmate water my garden? With love. Saying beautiful things, touching me tenderly, being loving and in his heart, and small moments of time for connecting.
Soulmate is over there right now writing about us and our love. Our whole lives have turned into our love story and our life purposes, beautifully woven together.
No flower can live without light. Fortunately, light is everywhere. Everything feels like light to me now. I made that choice in the parking garage as we left my oncologist’s office. I opened myself to more of what is available to all of us in this universe. I feel the difference. Once I despaired far too often. I wasn’t truly living — not the way I wanted to — but didn’t know how to get there. I saw only the gap between me and what I thought of as not-me, or the me I wished to be. But that moment in the parking garage changed everything. Now I know exactly what living is. And not only do I think I will do it — I already am.
Sometimes, flowers need a little extra. Healthy flowers can live beautifully with nutrients, water and light, but if the nutrients were lacking for a long time, the plant won’t be strong. And gardens with weeds need extra.
I’m taking a few supplements now and will add more later.
- Turmeric – the fresh root, used in seasoning like ginger, an anti-inflammatory that contains the antioxidant curcumin
- CoQ10 – an antioxidant that helps promote healthy cells + boosts the immune system
- Inositol – an antioxidant that helps keep cancer from growing
On its way:
- Essiac tea, a blend of western herbs – thought to kill cancer cells, build the immune system, and help the liver detox
Plants don’t live well alone. Growing in communities, plants cross-pollinate and otherwise support each other. And gardens are more beautiful when plants are massed in brilliant color swaths.
My community is you. Here. I am deeply touched by the outpouring of love and support we’ve received since this started. Every day I get messages of love or telling me how my life and my journey are affecting others. That means so much to me. We are each here to have the life we have for a purpose, and my purpose is this. Coming alive — living alive, living a Wild Goddess Life — and sharing how I do it. And I could not do that without you.
Every plant knows its purpose, its place in the grand story that is the web of all creation. Every plant performs its purpose beautifully, whatever that purpose is. Not every purpose is easily evident, but each is perfect.
We humans are the same, except we too often forget we once knew our purpose. My purpose is even more clear now: to be alive, live a Wild Goddess Life, and share my journey.
There are so many ways to be alive. The things that nourish my garden are only some of the ways I am being alive. Everyone has their own path. One of my superpowers is helping people find their path, and my favorite way of doing that is through energy medicine, or Shazam. I know I’m living my purpose when I get words from a client after a session like these:
Thanks to you. Everything is completely changed. Back to normal, as it was. You literally saved my life—there are no words adequate to capture the significance of what you’ve done for me.
So hire me! Stop staying away because I have cancer! If it works for you to work with me, then yay! Win win.