Art, love, sex and relationships

Cancer Goddess

What It’s Like For Me Now

Posted by on Jan 29, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 0 comments

It took me weeks to admit it it, but I’m doing way worse than I was. I sleep 11-12 hours a day now. Long, restless nights where I wake up many times. It’s hard to wake up in the morning. I fight it. I hardly leave the house. Going outside feels bewildering — so many things to look at, feel, remember. Everything goes by me so fast. It takes so much energy to take it all in, to process and label things like “stairs” and “walking” and “trees”...

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My Brain Surgery is Scheduled!

Posted by on Jan 28, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 1 comment

February 3. Very early in the morning. I’m happy to finally have my next steps. Last week we saw a rockstar neurosurgeon guy in LA, the day after my soulmate husband went on a get-things-done rampage of awesomeness and magically extracted phone numbers of area neurosurgeons who do laser probe brain surgery. They do exist! A very small handful, but still. Yay! And my beloved snagged a next-day slot with the rockstar guy, who seemed very good and very capable. (I don’t remember much...

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Bigger on the Inside

Posted by on Jan 27, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 1 comment

My beloved says that my world is getting smaller. That I’m disengaging with life. That I appear to be less alive, less vital. Hmmm. Do you know the TARDIS? It’s a space-and-time machine cleverly shaped like an old-fashioned blue British police box, one of the primary enduring non-human characters on the sci-fi TV show Doctor Who. There’s a running joke: people who’ve never seen a TARDIS get inside it and are floored by how vast it is inside (so vast that we only ever see...

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Surgery Snafu

Posted by on Jan 26, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 0 comments

Hello loves. I want to shed light on why I haven’t had surgery yet. It’s kind of a crazy story. If only my life wasn’t on the line, this might be funnier! I’ll start back toward the beginning… In October my head hurt. Suddenly and a lot. We had to see doctors and get a brain MRI, but guess what? My insurance, which we hadn’t yet changed over from the state of Washington for a variety of reasons, wasn’t accepted. No one would see me except in the ER...

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My Brain, On Cancer

Posted by on Jan 9, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, What Cancer Feels Like | 1 comment

Imagine that three months ago you got a sudden, constant, demanding headache -- right at the time you'd convinced yourself that life was about to get a whole lot better. Imagine then that within a week you knew that cancer had returned to where it had metastasized to your brain, and within two weeks you were pretty sure you were facing brain surgery. Nearly three months later you still await surgery. This is your new reality.

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Gifts of 2014

Posted by on Dec 31, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Goddesslicious, Magic | 2 comments

A year ago, standing on the bridge between 2013 and 2014, I did not imagine myself to be where I am now: living in San Diego amid and around juicy community; basking in the inner golden glow of being Talyaa; about to have brain surgery. I did, however, imagine adoring and being adored by my beloved, but 2014 brought it home to me in ways I did not foresee a year ago. Love This year I learned more about love than any year I can remember. My beloved shows me every day what love is. We had some...

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