Art, love, sex and relationships

Cancer Goddess

How I Found Freedom

Posted by on Sep 26, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Magic | 0 comments

What happens when we resist our Truth? The past several weeks I’ve been in a deep soul process. Well, to be more exact, I’ve been resisting a call to a deep soul process. Resisting, for me in this case, looks and feels a lot like depression. Very little felt good except the things I know always feel good to me: movement/dance and connection/community. I stopped painting. This was a mistake. By stopping painting I denied an essential part of myself, like cutting off an arm. Or my...

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One Eleven

Posted by on Sep 15, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing | 0 comments

After cancer hit more than two years ago, my relationship with scales and weighing took on a whole new dimension. It got very simple. Losing weight = death. Gaining weight = health. I gave up the option to worry about weight or what my body looked like, because I was fighting for my life.

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Two Years to Tango

Posted by on Aug 27, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, What Cancer Feels Like | 0 comments

These shoes became emblematic of my will to live. I was gonna say Eff You to cancer and learn to dance tango IF IT KILLED ME. Even though by the time I got the shoes, I barely had the strength to stand more than a couple of minutes, let alone dance on 3.5 inch stiletto heels.

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How Cancer Gave Me My Life

Posted by on Jul 31, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious, Magic | 0 comments

I saw it in the eyes of the ER ultrasound tech as she held the scanning wand over my abdomen. She fought to control the tears in her eyes, but her look of shock and concern was unmistakable even to me, already drugged with morphine. Dying? That's ridiculous, I thought. I'm not dying. Never mind that if things continued as they had -- me curled in a fetal position from the pain and constant nausea, refusing to eat -- I would have died within weeks.

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Cancer Update: For The Win!

Posted by on Mar 25, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 3 comments

If you’re following along at home, I have good news. Had a new round of scans not long ago. These things have become routine. We know the deal: where to park, what hospital entrance to go in, how to navigate the warren of labyrinthian hallways between the place you go for CT scans and the place you go for MRIs. We know where there is cell service and which receptionists are the nicest. They say once you get really familiar with something, it’s time to move on. Or maybe it’s me...

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No More Pollyanna

Posted by on Feb 21, 2014 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious, What Cancer Feels Like | 4 comments

Oh god oh god oh god I’ve been lying. About my condition. To you and to myself. Sure, yes, my physical condition is better than it was. Certainly from a year ago — even from six months ago — there’s been an improvement. Big improvement. From hardly standing to yay-the-yoga. All the things I said in my last post are true. Except…I put a way more positive spin on things than was real. For many reasons, and I’ll spill them all here I promise. I need to talk about...

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