Leaving (…not on a jet plane)
I am a bad, bad person. Bear with me here, I can hear your thoughts. Stop saying in your head No, Talyaa, you’re not bad! and just let me have my belief, will you? Bad, bad, bad. Why bad? Because I am a Leaver. When things get tough, the tough get going. Going far, far away. I am not tough. I am a coward. Hence the leaving. Leaving is easier than staying and facing the hard things. Let’s talk about why this is even a Thing, why the Leaving needs to be written about. Number One, I am...
Read MoreFarewell, Mom: Jane Elizabeth Asbury, Mar 21 1935 – May 2 2013
I’m half an orphan now. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but goddamn it my mother died last week and I now feel as if my umbilicus was ripped out by its roots and I’m floating, unanchored and adrift. Motherless. I hate this feeling. I know it will change, and I knew my mom would die some day (right? we know this?) but OMFG I had no idea how it would feel. Let me tell you about my mom. Jane. Jane was born during the Great Depression, the younger child of Clarence and Bea. They lived...
Read MoreReboot Required: This Is Not How I Want To Live
My-neighbor-the-doctor posted a piece today on the words we use to describe our relationship to illness and disease. Battling cancer. He gave it a good fight. Bring out the big guns. Help fight cancer! I’ve always hated the war words. They never felt right. I reposted the piece (go here and read it) and added: I am not battling cancer or fighting cancer. I am learning to LIVE. Cancer just happens to be part of the path I’m on to get there. I’m such a fucking liar. Okay, back...
Read More25 Ways to Be Beautiful Today
Growing up, I never thought I was beautiful (or talented, or smart, or useful, but those are other stories). My mother — she was beautiful. At least, according to my dad. Maybe it was because I read a lot of fairy tales filled with competing princesses and queens but I grew up believing there was only room in my house for one beautiful woman. And that crown was claimed. I wanted to be beautiful. No one called me beautiful. If they did, I didn’t believe it. I already knew it...
Read MoreHow to be a woman
I have some serious girl crushes. This morning I sat in the butter-yellow leather chair downstairs with my feet in a tub of hot water and read Penelope Trunk. I have sort of a love-hate relationship with Penelope Trunk (something she said once pissed me off), but today it is all love because this morning, with my feet in hot water, I recognized myself in her writing. And, for the first time, seeing and knowing myself felt good. At the beginning of the month I felt stuck and frustrated in...
Read More Hi. I’m Talyaa.
Cancer Chick.
Soulmate.
Wild Goddess.
Soulmate.
Wild Goddess.
I have Stage 4 cancer. Doctors have little hope and little to offer, so I had to take my healing into my own hands. Luckily, my soulmate is a break-the-rules warrior, so we created a radical healing program. My life will never be the same.
This time I'm living life like I mean it. No more tango somedays — living like a wild goddess starts now. I'm already the Cancer Goddess.
Next stop. Wild Goddess Life.
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