Last night I felt sexy and alive, neither of which I’ve felt much since this recurrent brain tumor ordeal began last fall. My love Dave Donatiu and I have been talking a lot lately about what makes us feel more alive. Well, community events are one thing that make me light up and feel the Love that I am, so yay! we went to a community party (thank you, Dave Booda and Paula Padma! so good to see you!). I wanted to see friends before surgery, since who knows when I’ll be able to next.
We didn’t stay much more than an hour (I was fading), but how exquisite to bask in love energy and hug friends and sit at my beloved’s side while he pet the leg I draped over his.
When we left I felt my power. Cancer steals people’s power. Not just physically but personal power, a sense of being captain of one’s own ship. It’s so hard to feel like you can control anything when your body’s cells are mutating rampantly. I think people have a much greater chance at getting past cancer when they maintain their personal power. I had lost mine (fear steals so much). And now I know how to get it back. The love feelings felt so good I experimented and found an access point to feel myself as Love even when engulfed by Fear.
Hint: Love wins over Fear.
I’m ready for surgery now. THIS is what I needed. So grateful to everyone who I hugged last night and everyone just in the room, because it took a village (group energy) to help me remember Who I Am. Wow.