This is how my life feels now
So much has happened lately, but the majority of it has been on an internal level and I'm still integrating it while creating more, so I haven't felt like writing about it. Writing now about it all would feel like touching a wee baby bird while it's pecking its way out of its robin's egg blue shell. Too sacred and new.
My beloved and I are on an adventure, in my belief one of the very best kinds of adventure — a journey together into consciousness, creation, and even deeper intimacy. I've always known on some level that the kind of evolutionary growth and intimacy we are creating was possible but I lacked the tools, knowledge, and, frankly, the right person to journey with. Expect possible dispatches from later in this inner adventure, but for now I'm very content just being IN it.
Medically and physically, I'm having challenges that we are meeting head on with knowledge, intuition, and as much grace as I can muster. My beloved of course is devoted to my continuing well-being and helps me hold a torch high to help light the brightness of our future.
The immunotherapy I'm on, after two infusions, has irritated my liver considerably. Our favorite oncologist says this is common among his most successful immunotherapy patients. What this means in real life is that my intestines are pretty darned uncomfortable because of how they interact with my liver. There's more medical stuff I don't entirely understand about the liver eating itself (really! and it grows back, too!) but the upshot is that I had a couple of weeks of fever, super-fatigue, and pain and I'm still dealing with discomfort. It's been pretty challenging. My immune system is on hyperdrive and it's doing its job. A little too well maybe. So now I'm taking, temporarily, a relatively small amount of a drug that quiets my immune system so my liver can heal. Plus my beloved has a whole cornucopia of awesome supplementation and helpful stuff that gives support and helps my body find balance again.
Plus, if a person can be healed by love (and I believe this is possible), then I've been infused with such a deep and transcendent love from my beloved that of course my cells would respond with grace and openness to what's possible.
I love that this is the season of soups and gentle long-cooked whole foods and baked acorn squash because those are exactly what feels most nourishing and comforting to me now. When I eat I thank my food and all the hands and hearts that touched it along its way to me, and I tell my body to receive all that goodness and send it to the places that need healing.
Life is so magical. I love that I chose to stay and experience all that I choose to create, and I love most that I chose this adventure with my eternal beloved.