My man is in action. He’s not content with the state of things around here — we’re sleeping on the floor of a short-term unfurnished Airbnb rental that has a carpet that reeks of wet dog; our stuff is in storage; and we have nowhere near enough money in the bank account to find a new place when the term is up — so he’s on a rampage of awesome to make changes.
Sure, we live in paradise. But paradise doesn’t buy food and my cancer meds and hot power yoga classes and canvases for me to paint on, things I need to continue healing.
Action is what pays bills. Powerful purposeful action, not chicken-with-its-head-cut-off frenzy.
First, though, my Kahuna had to examine some deep stuff. This man knows more about personal growth and evolution — he synthesized a revolutionary method to once-and-for-all deal with The Thing That Stops You from doing what you are on this planet to do — than almost anyone else I know. Furthermore, he’s a powerful speaker and facilitator. He’s a skilled sexual healer. He knows more about health than most naturopaths. He went on a crash course to learn how to reverse terminal cancer so he could help save the life of the woman he loves. He knows about sales and marketing, business plans, and other things any entrepreneur needs to know. He’s a freaking Renaissance Man and has amazing gifts that could help countless people around the world, yet here we are with not much more than two nickels to rub together.
So what happened?
Dark night of the soul, that’s what. For nine years. Many people never come out of their dark night of the soul, never make that final huge and frightening effort to cross the threshold again and enter the world with the elixir in hand, and remain stuck and in pain. My man has vowed this will not happen. He MUST cross the threshold, and he must hold aloft the gift he is here to share with the world.
He initiates people into their personal power.
To expedite his rampage of awesome, my man chooses to stalk his power.
Imagine a black panther, muscled and sleek, padding softly through the jungle. He stops. Waits. Rests near the shadows where soft animals hide. Knows the exact location of its unsuspecting prey, his next meal, the thing that will feed and sustain him. He stalks, relentlessly going after the thing in the shadows.
My Kahuna and I, we stalk that which hides within our shadows, too. Tame the beast that dwells in your shadow and you reclaim its power. Kahuna wants his power back, demands it back. To expand more widely into the world one needs a stable base of personal power.
Kahuna is reclaiming more of his power, and quickly. By sharing his process, he inspires others to reclaim their power. He inspires ME. I gave away so much of my power in the past, over and over and for no reason other than I believed I did not have power so I willingly handed it over to parents, teachers, husbands because I was afraid to claim what was mine, afraid of the possible consequences (rejection! being unloved! death!) if I did. I am taking my power back.
I’m not keeping quiet any more. I know about sexuality, love, and relationships. I know ways to work through conflict and I understand the one single thing every man wants from his woman. I know what a women wants from her man. I know how to look into a man’s eyes and make him feel like he’s the only man in the world and is seen — truly seen — by the Divine. I know what stops a woman from claiming her sexuality, and I know how to help her heal it and harness the luscious power of her womb. I know how to attract a soulmate. I know sacred tantric breath techniques and ways to prolong orgasm. I know how to hold space as a sexual shamanic healer. I know things — I am living the passionate soulmate relationship that so many people crave and I know what it took to create and nurture it — and it’s time I shared them.
I wanted to wrap up this post with something clever and pithy to let you know I claim a space in the world. I couldn’t think of anything to write that didn’t sound hollow and kind of disingenuous, so I’m writing this: I feel ready now to serve the world in some way. I’m claiming more personal power than ever before. My relationship with Kahuna is wonderful and it can be better. We work on it every day. Every day I learn something new about myself or this man and the reflection of me he holds in his heart. Every day I make mistakes and every day I try my best to learn from them. We make our relationship important. We’ve invested in it with time, energy, money, and professional training. I’ve come to believe that one way — in addition to painting Divine Feminine energy — I can serve the world with ease and help expand the field of love is to share what I know and assist others to make magic happen by reclaiming their personal power through better sex, love, and relationships.