Art, love, sex and relationships … oh, and cancer too

BRAF, Brain Swelling, and a July 8 Craniotomy – Oh My!

Posted by on Jul 7, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing | 0 comments

Here we go with kick-ass cancer drugs and brain surgery. Melanoma is a wily foe, but I've got it on the run. Just have to get through brain surgery first....

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My Staples Are Out, A Lesson In Being Present

Posted by on Jun 22, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Magic | 0 comments

When future events feel overwhelming and scary, step back and breathe. Remember how loved you are. It will be okay.

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Emotional Ocean

Posted by on Apr 16, 2015 in Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious, What Cancer Feels Like | 0 comments

My laser brain ablation surgery to take care of a 3-4 cm recurrent metastatic melanoma brain tumor was on February 3, 2015. This post is one of a series of updates that I wrote in the days following, which now I I finally have some energy/motivation to post. Some of you have been kindly inquiring as to my status, which I so appreciate! ~~~~~ We humans are marvelous magical organisms, capable of enduring endless suffering or ecstatic heights, of giving and receiving love under the most fanciful...

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I Besmirched Los Angeles: A Tale of Brain Radiation

Posted by on Apr 15, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, What Cancer Feels Like | 0 comments

My laser brain ablation surgery to take care of a 3-4 cm recurrent metastatic melanoma brain tumor was on February 3, 2015. This post is one of a series of updates that I wrote in the days following, which now I I finally have some energy/motivation to post. Some of you have been kindly inquiring as to my status, which I so appreciate! ~~~~~ Awoke this morning at 4:44 am, about 8 hours shy of my nightly sleep needs, and we drove an hour through the lightening dark to arrive at my Gamma Knife...

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Brain Surgery One Week Report

Posted by on Apr 14, 2015 in Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious, What Cancer Feels Like | 1 comment

My laser brain ablation surgery to take care of a 3-4 cm recurrent metastatic melanoma brain tumor was on February 3, 2015. This post is one of a series of updates that I wrote in the days following, which now I I finally have some energy/motivation to post. Some of you have been kindly inquiring as to my status, which I so appreciate! ~~~~~ For days after my surgery, I was half convinced I’d entered a new world. For weeks I had wanted it to be a new world. I had wanted to cross a magical...

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So Happy to Be Home After Brain Surgery!

Posted by on Mar 31, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 4 comments

My laser brain ablation surgery to take care of a 3-4 cm recurrent metastatic melanoma brain tumor was on February 3, 2015. This post is one of a series of updates that I wrote in the days following, which now I I finally have the energy/motivation to post.

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What It’s Like For Me Now

Posted by on Jan 29, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 3 comments

It took me weeks to admit it it, but I’m doing way worse than I was. I sleep 11-12 hours a day now. Long, restless nights where I wake up many times. It’s hard to wake up in the morning. I fight it. I hardly leave the house. Going outside feels bewildering — so many things to look at, feel, remember. Everything goes by me so fast. It takes so much energy to take it all in, to process and label things like “stairs” and “walking” and “trees”...

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My Brain Surgery is Scheduled!

Posted by on Jan 28, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 1 comment

February 3. Very early in the morning. I’m happy to finally have my next steps. Last week we saw a rockstar neurosurgeon guy in LA, the day after my soulmate husband went on a get-things-done rampage of awesomeness and magically extracted phone numbers of area neurosurgeons who do laser probe brain surgery. They do exist! A very small handful, but still. Yay! And my beloved snagged a next-day slot with the rockstar guy, who seemed very good and very capable. (I don’t remember much...

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Bigger on the Inside

Posted by on Jan 27, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 1 comment

My beloved says that my world is getting smaller. That I’m disengaging with life. That I appear to be less alive, less vital. Hmmm. Do you know the TARDIS? It’s a space-and-time machine cleverly shaped like an old-fashioned blue British police box, one of the primary enduring non-human characters on the sci-fi TV show Doctor Who. There’s a running joke: people who’ve never seen a TARDIS get inside it and are floored by how vast it is inside (so vast that we only ever see...

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Surgery Snafu

Posted by on Jan 26, 2015 in Cancer Goddess, Cancer Healing, Goddesslicious | 0 comments

Hello loves. I want to shed light on why I haven’t had surgery yet. It’s kind of a crazy story. If only my life wasn’t on the line, this might be funnier! I’ll start back toward the beginning… In October my head hurt. Suddenly and a lot. We had to see doctors and get a brain MRI, but guess what? My insurance, which we hadn’t yet changed over from the state of Washington for a variety of reasons, wasn’t accepted. No one would see me except in the ER...

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