Oracle ✥ Artist ✥ Author ✥ Time Traveler

What to do when you’re freaking out and scared

Fear is an important response to a perceived threat, but sometimes fear tricks us into feeling scared by things we only imagine might come true.

Okay, you’re scared. It’s time to talk about scared.

Fine. I am one to talk. I spent the better part of an hour today freaking out inside and feeling super scared about something that is going on right now in my life. A big something with a capital B-big.

After an hour of feeling scared, I thought that was enough. So I decided to do something about it. And I am going to tell you what I did to talk myself through my scaredyness and freaking out-y-ness, because I know that sometimes you feel scared. And it feels terrible. I know it feels terrible. It feels hopeless and terrifying and impossible. You want someone or something to make it all better when it feels like this.

I am going to walk you through your scared place to the other side of it. I can’t make it all better but I can hold your hand and tell you some things that will help change your experience (if you are feeling scared now), or some other day down the road when you need it.

But first, a question.

What is it, exactly, that you are scared of?

I have this hypothetical friend who is a writer. She is writing a book and from time to time I lend a willing ear while she talks things through so she can get to the next step of writing her book. One day she told me she felt stuck. Couldn’t write a word, or the words were coming so slowly that snails were racing one another on the pages and were winning.

(small detour while you consider what happens when snails race across the book you’re trying to write)

“Okay, you’re stuck,” I said. “What are you afraid of?”

“I am afraid I will never finish this book, ” she said. “It will never get written. No one will hear my story. If no one hears my story, I am afraid it isn’t important. I’m afraid I’M not important and that I DON’T MATTER.”

Bingo.

Maybe what you fear isn’t of not mattering. Maybe it’s something else, something closer to home that kicks you in the gut. Maybe you fear the dark. Maybe you fear heights. Maybe you fear failing an important test. Maybe you fear failing, or NOT failing, or that someone long ago was right about you when they said you’d never be happy or amount to much.

Wait, is this guy going to hurt me or is he in my imagination?

Figuring out what you are really scared of isn’t easy.

Our minds play tricks on us that make it hard to find out what really scares us. We think we fear one thing but there is almost always, 99 times out of 100, something deeper and darker that we are REALLY scared of.

So, to figure out what to do when you feel scared, first you have to lay all your cards on the table. Get some light on what scares you. When your fears are in the dark, they get stronger. They have more power. Have you noticed that?

Remember when you were little and you had to check under your bed for monsters? You just knew that if you dangled a foot over the edge of the bed, or made a run for it to get to the bathroom, you’d be swallowed up by the horrible monster under your bed, right? But did you ever notice that you NEVER SAW THE MONSTER IN DAYLIGHT? That’s because monsters need darkness. So get yours out into the light.

Step #1. But first! Breathe!

Our bodies are quite amazing. They protect us from all sorts of threats. This is one reason we have survived so long as a species, because our bodies instinctively knew what to do when there were saber tooth tigers nearby.

The problem is, when we feel scared ALL THE TIME, we forget to tell our hypothalamus to chill out. Hypothalamus? That’s the part of our brain that goes “OMG OMG Tigers!” and then does a fight-flight-or-freeze response so we don’t get eaten by tigers and miss all the episodes of So You Think You Can Dance that we haven’t yet caught up on.  The hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system, making us tense and alert. It also tells the adrenal-cortical system to dump a cocktail of hormones into our system. Eeek!

The result of all this (OMG OMG Tigers!) is that we stand ready for fight, flight, or freeze. One way of being ready is by regulating the breath: when we feel scared we take quick little shallow breaths from the top of our chest.

So when you are feeling scared about, say, failing a test, your body is interpreting this as OMG OMG Tigers! And you aren’t breathing.

Quickest fix on the planet for being scared: breathe.

Slow down your breathing. Freaking out? A little? Right now? Then breathe. Relax your belly. Breathe down into your lower belly. Place your feet flat on the floor. Breathe down into the soles of your feet. Nice, full, deep breaths.

Works like a charm. That is Step #1. Return to Step #1 as often as you need to.

Or! Bonus! Sometimes when you breathe, you get space for Perspective. Which means that the horrible Thing that you were afraid of isn’t that horrible after all. Like in the morning when the monsters go back under the bed where they came from.

Still scared? Then you are ready for Step #2..

Step #2. Operation Daylight

Ask yourself, What is the worst thing that can happen?

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that if you think about the worst thing that can happen, that YOU WILL MAKE THAT BAD THING COME TRUE. You will get stuck in suck, an endless whirlpool of What If and Things Gone Horribly Wrong. I am here to tell you that it doesn’t work that way. You have magic superpowers, yes, but making your worst fear come true is not one of them. Not if you do it the way I am going to tell you.

So when you ask yourself What is the worst thing that can happen, really go into it. Don’t hold back. Be ridiculous. If, like my writer-friend, you worry that you will never finish your project, then go all the way with it. Don’t stop with, “I have this nameless fear about never finishing this book .” Keep going. Think about what could happen when you do not ever finish your book. Your story stays inside you. No one reads it. No one truly “gets” you. Your story isn’t important. You aren’t important. Ouch.

Still with me?

In this Worst Case Scenario, you live a life that is unimportant. Tap into YOUR Worst Case Scenario. Feel what it feels like for a sec. Stay with it.

Now, go deeper. What does living your Worst Case Scenario say about you? Or, rather, what are you afraid it might say about you?

  • That you’re a loser?
  • That you are invisible?
  • That you are a fuck-up?
  • That no one likes you?
  • That you don’t deserve good things?
  • That you are alone?
  • That you’ll be rejected?

Chances are, a fear of not finishing your creative project comes from a deeper fear like one of these. These are pretty universal fears.

You can apply Operation Daylight on any fear — deep down, there is always a primal fear that we touch the edge of when we feel into one of our surface fears.

Now that you are open and vulnerable and feeling into the Deep Suck of your primal fear, it’s time to throw open the doors and windows and really get into your fear. Now we are going to play What If.

Step #3. A little game I call What If…?

Playing What If can be amazingly empowering. All sorts of good things open up and appear magically when you LET GO of what you’ve resisted and instead OPEN UP to All That is. There is true gold inside your fear! You’re far more awesome than you might think. You just have to get inside it enough to see the gold.

This is how What If works. You try on how it feels to be what you most fear. Try it on and wear it like a really cool and unusual outfit. For instance — you don’t think you’re much of a Steampunk person? You never know until you’ve strapped on a pair of goggles over your top hat — maybe Steampunk really IS you, the You that was deep inside underneath. Try on your fears the way you might try on a maxi dress, or a thong — you don’t know how it feels until you let yourself FEEL it.

Here we go with an example of how playing What If might go if you apply it to the fear of Being a Loser:

What If…  you are a loser?

If I am a loser then no one likes me. No one ever calls me. My clothes probably smell, because I’m too depressed to do my laundry. I eat a lot of cookies, because, why not? I watch a lot of TV.

[insert voice of Pretend Sigmund Freud, pushing his glasses up on his nose and scribbling notes on a pad while you talk and recline on his super comfy couch]

Yes, yes…go on…

If I am a loser, I lose my job. I have to get another job.  But everyone knows I am a loser, so I can’t get a job in my old field anymore. I have to do something else…. something…

Yes, yes…go on…

I watch a LOT of TV. Boy, do I ever know TV! Huh. I could write way better scripts than they can. With one hand tied behind my back. Hey! Maybe I should! I should write screenplays! That would be…like…fun!

So you have hypothetically let go of your job? Very in-te-res-ting. How does that feel?

It feels…good. I’m a loser. HEY! I’M A LOSER! I have nothing to lose. Because I AM a loser. No one expects anything of me. I can let go of pleasing. I can let go of trying. I can do what I want. Make use of all that TV I’ve watched all these years. I can just be… me.

And… I’m NOT a loser. I was just afraid that I was one, so… I kind of WAS one. Huh.

Next up: fire Dr. Freud, get off that couch, and turn your frown upside down.

Step #4. Turn That Frown Upside Down

Congratulations! You touched into your deep fear, and you walked in it.  You found out that what scared you wasn’t so scary after all.

Now go tell someone else about it.

There is power in sharing yourself. your story, and your process. There is power in opening a part of yourself to someone else and letting them take you in — the new, bigger You. Once you share your fear with someone, you are ready to take action. You’re no longer reacting to tigers. You can choose wisely and choose well, and from a place that helps you make better and better choices in the future.

Congratulations. That’s what “facing your fears” REALLY is.

And the thing I was afraid of? I slayed that bad boy.

First I breathed. Then I listened in and deep to my inner voice. I heard what it was I was really afraid of. And I chose to keep the door closed to the Whirlpool of Suck and to instead focus on my Daring Plan of Action. And now I am telling you about it. My fear? A silly thing about money — not having any. My deeper fear was that my work doesn’t matter, that I don’t matter. My way through was to focus on what I know that does matter, and how that feels. And now I have told you. Thanks for listening.

You’ve Got a Friend

When you’re down, and troubled, and you need a helping hand…

Sometimes, Step #2 & #3 are not that easy to do alone. It can really help to have someone hold your hand and walk you through the process and help you really feel into your fears and not get stuck in Suck. I promise you that Operation Daylight, What If…? and Turn That Frown Upside Down really work — even when you do them alone — but taking that first step to walk through your Doorway of Suck can be terrifying.

If you feel afraid in your life and you want to walk through your fear once and for all, consider having someone hold your hand. Wild Goddess Mentoring is perfect for that kind of handholding. Let me be there for you.

What If You Read This And You’re Still Scared?

Sometimes strong feelings of fear don’t go away very easily. That’s when you should connect with someone whose whole job is to help people just like you. Here are some resources:

24-Hour Crisis Hotline (The Samaritans) 212-673-3000

Teen Line 310-855-4673 or text TEEN to 839863. The line is open from 6pm – 10pm Pacific time every night. The website has LOTS of great answers to really hard questions.

Super long list of hotlines and helplines for almost any occasion.

(Here’s information on what to expect when you call a helpline. It can be scary to reach out to someone you don’t know, but people who staff helplines are trained to know how to help you feel comfortable and safe.)

Last but not least, maybe you want some help to help you better understand your fears and what to do about them. Here are some options:

Healing, plus information on your fear patterns and what causes them: Shamanic Energy Healing

Understanding of your past lives and how they affect you now: Past Life Exploration.

Personal coaching: Dave at The Paradox Cure (he’s my husband and he’s very very good at this kind of thing!). Email dave (at) the paradoxcure (dot) com.

 

83 Comments

Join the conversation and post a comment.

  1. kayla

    what do you do when a friend is staying with you and your famiy start fighting and your scared that something bad might happen?

    • wildgoddess

      It sounds like you’re in an awful situation. I am so sorry. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m guessing if you live at home with a family who fights a lot and it scares you, then you don’t have options that older people have. I am not an expert in this area and can’t legally advise you, but here are some ideas:

      *Stay apart from the fighting members of your family while they are fighting
      *Call another friend so you feel less alone
      *Call an emergency hotline phone number for advice and help (National Domestic Abuse hotline number – 800.799.SAFE (800.799.7233)
      *Another really great list of hotline numbers, including a text line to get immediate support: http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/hotlines
      *Talk to a teacher (keep in mind that if you are under 18 and you talk to a teacher or other local official, they MUST report what you say to authorities if they think you are in danger…. if you are not sure whether you are in danger, then talk to a hotline advisor first and get advice about what to do next)

      Sending you love…

  2. Eli

    This is great! REally WOW. When i searched ‘what do i do when im scared?’. There were so many stuff about death but no thats not even close what i looked for. Death is not scary. Life is because you go through pain, happiness.. everything. The hardest thing is that you go alone through all that. Then when i clicked here and read the article well it helped, a lot really thank you!

  3. Kris

    Thank you so much for posting this!! Earlier this year I had attempted suicide and ended up in a coma for 2 days. Before then and especially after the attempt I have been dealing with a fear of not really being alive, thinking, ”what if I really didn’t survive and I’m actually dead after all” I’ve talked to my therapist about this, but haven’t gotten to the root of my fear yet. What you wrote has really helped me to start looking deeper into my more primal fear which I believe is the fear of being worthless. The what if part of your article really helped me too. I am still in the process of overcoming my fear(s) and I thank you for writing this amazing article. You will touch so many peoples lives with your words! I wish you the bes and that what or whomever you believe in, God, Goddess, the Universe, or Creator, I pray that they bless you your amazing heart and continue to bless you with gifts of insight, love amd happiness! 🙂

    • wildgoddess

      Oh Kris, I am humbled by the depth of your experience. I’ve struggled with the question of self worth for a long time too. It surprised me last year to discover that I am inherently worthy, simply by being alive, and that I must do nothing more than breathe and let my heart beat to be worthy of life. Society tells us otherwise. I am so glad you are finding your way to knowing the beauty of your inner light. Much love…. xo Talyaa

  4. the thinker

    okay so im terrified to get my shot n because it hurts maybe im jut scared to insert a dessese into my body i don’t really know why im sared so then how do i over com it

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Thinker,

      Shots can be scary. I had to overcome my fear when I had to learn to give them to myself. But in my case I knew it was for my healing. Sounds like you are also scared of possible consequences. Maybe you are wondering who to trust. It can be hard to know. So here’s what you can do. Knowledge is power. Arm yourself with information. Do a Google search on the kind of shot you are supposed to get. Look for information on possible side effects, efficacy (how effective it is), and possible risks. Sometimes doctors and nurses don’t tell you this information. Once you know all that you can find on the shot you are supposed to get, then you can better make a choice. You’ll know if it’s good for you or not. Most shots are safe but some have adverse side effects or risks, and you want to find out as much as you can about that.

      About the pain part….I’ve found that the worst part of pain is anticipating it. You think it’s going to hurt therefore you hold yourself against the hurt to try to avoid it. I know it sounds counter intuitive, but often relaxing as much as possible can minimize the hurt. Many shots and given in a large muscle and the pain goes away fast. Or maybe your doctor or nurse can give you a topical numbing medicine to take the sting away.

      Hope this helps. You’re not alone.

  5. Elizabeth H.

    Please Help! When my new husband goes out of town for business, I totally freak out! I turn into another person. My heart rate goes up. I panic. I imagine being the fool in front of his coworkers that all know they were out at strip cubs getting drunk and hauled back to the vp room!
    My husband hasn’t given me any reason to feel this way. Quite the contrary.
    I tell myself I won’t let it take me over the next time he’s out of town, but it creeps up and then I’m in serious fight “and” flight mode at the same time!
    It is bad for my marriage and distracting for his high pressure job.
    What is wrong with ME?! When I dig as deep as I can to find the root, all I can discover is that I’m terrified of feeling deep emotional pain, or grief. BTW, I haven’t any history with an unfaithful spouse. Just a lot of lying and deceptive people close to me. Any ideas or advice?

    • wildgoddess

      Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I’ve been there and I know that feeling that takes over. You have described my same response I had in another relationship years ago. It’s awesome that you recognize that it’s something in you that’s being triggered. I’ve heard good things about Peter Levine’s book “Healing Trauma”. This to me sounds like a trauma response. You might also look at somatic (body-centered) therapies. They quickly and relatively painlessly (you move through the pain part quickly with this kind of facilitation) help you uncover and heal whatever’s going on with you. My husband does this kind of work and developed a process to facilitate it, so I’m really familiar. 🙂 His website is http://www.theparadoxcure.com

      And, for now, keep breathing. Try to feel your feet. Often when we go into that fear place we leave our bodies. Do you notice that happening? If that’s the case, try to bring your awareness into your feet as much as you can. Breathe deep down into your belly. Shallow chest breathing is our natural response when fear arises, so intentionally slowing and deepening the breath really helps.

      Best of luck to you, and much love. I believe you can heal this. xo

  6. Koolcat

    Im scared of this girls dad.

    Hes pretty big, and i broke his daughters bed. I hid in the closet and he yelled. He looked for me and i made a mad dash out of the house in time. She had told her dad. The girl came to my house-although she didnt know- her dad not to far behind. I hid in my closet-again!- and waited for him to leave. He took my friend with him.
    The next day (today) she came back and asked for me to come to her house. I am so scared to do it. Even though you cant help me now, can you at least help me to get over my fear?

    P.S. THANKS!

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Koolcat,

      Are you under 18? You can call a helpline — 1-800-422-4453 for advice and immediate help. If you are over 18, I’d try your local police department’s non-emergency number to weak to someone, or if you think you are in immediate danger call 911.

      If you are living with your parents, what is your relationship like with them? Can you go to them for help and protection? It sounds like you may be afraid of consequences of breaking the girl’s bed, and I understand the fear, but it will be way easier of you get someone to help you who knows what happened.

      To get through fear so you can think more clearly and decide what to do, try slowing down your breathing. Breathe deep into your belly. But honestly, it sounds like you need outside assistance. Please call one of the numbers I gave and tell them what is happening. You should not have to deal with this alone.

      Much love,
      Talyaa

    • Jennifer Robertson

      First of all, stay calm. When you broke his daughters bed, it was an accident. So you can politily tell him it was an accident. Try staying calm.

  7. Cutefirelove

    My problem: I came to the kitchen and i have a TV there my mother was watching a Halloween Movie, at first i thought it was good, then soon it was SCARY! Every time my mom went to do something i would call her “MOM IM SCARED IT WILL BE ON SOON” and it started shortly. The movie was about a haunted house thing. (DONT judge me I’m very young) Please help!

    • wildgoddess

      Wow, I’m so sorry. Scary movies scare me, too! Can you talk to your mom and tell her that movies like that really scare you? Maybe if she knew you were REALLY scared (as opposed to the fun-scared a lot of people feel when riding roller coasters) and deeply affected, she would turn it off. Are you afraid of her judging you for being scared? Hopefully she can remember what it felt like when she was your age, or if she wasn’t personally scared of scary movies at your age, that she can understand how you are different. What you feel when seeing scary things is not uncommon and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Different people have varying degrees of tolerance for scary things. If she won’t turn off scary things, then you’ll probably just have to avid them as best you can. Remind yourself they are movies and not real life, and then try to think of things that make you feel safe and cared for. Hugs to you and good luck!

    • Cassidy

      CUTEFIRELOVE , I have know idea how old you are , but for me I am almost 11 . So fear of Scary Movies Eh ? Well , some of the best things is what everybody tells you REALIZE ITS JUST A MOVIE . Sometimes that’s hard but , I’m sure you’ll come around, and well you said Halloween so probably murder and ghostly stuff , did you know out of one of every 1,000 who worry about murder only one or two get severely injured or … Dead . But , God and everybody else sends you prayers so stay calm . And I am answering your comment late and if you Got over your fear that’s AMAZING! Hope this works Best of Luck ,

      Cassidy 🙂

    • Toybonniegirl108

      It’s ok CutefireLove, when I was like 4 my mom never watch scary movies until i turned 8 my mm always make me watch scary movies. When I first saw a scary movie it scared me to death but as I grew older it makes me want to say “These movies are just getting old”.
      I’m 11 years old and I have no fear of scary movies or even see blood
      But it’s ok CuteFireLove, Not everyone has to be brave but we are always here for you and if you get scared we will be there

  8. justanotherguy

    Like your article! makes sense!

    Mine is a typical story in which I was dating a girl and had really strong feelings for her. Everything was going good.
    After a point I started doubting her (i had my reasons) that she had feelings for my best friend, she denied and said that they are just good friends and nothing else. One day I found out that she used meet him and used to lie to me. I was heart broken and sad yet wanted to forgive her and continue with the relationship. She said she lied because she did not want to hurt me. We broke up in the end. There was a lot of unnecessary drama.

    Now currently they are together. It used to disgust me, make me sad and angry thinking, how my friend could do this to me. I lost 2 people who were close to me at the same time.

    I think that I’m over the whole thing yet occasionally I get dreams where they are together making love to each other or are just together. Its scary. What do I do about this? How do I control what I dream of?

    Please help! 🙂

  9. Double Jeorpody

    Found your write up inspiring and am open for more . I just lost my job for the third time in a span of about 6years. The most scary thing is that,it happened almost at the same time of the year and over almost similar issues. I am so afraid that i am stucked to a #BAD habit that i have been using for a long time to dowse fear,,wich overtime tunts me daily. DOUBLE JEORPODY! DOUBLE FEAR!!. Really scared to even watch my favourite soccer club(chelsea fc) play a league game,because am scared of watching them loose. A times i feel like am Jinxing my club. Need help. Thanks and God bless you.

  10. Nikki

    I watched these videos that are not my at but I wanna stop I don’t know HOW please help me

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Nikki, My guess is that there is something about these videos that calls to you. Perhaps they are geared to a different age group than yours but that could be their allure for you. If you truly want to stop watching them, you can. Start by listing everything you love about the videos…all the things about them that call to you, even if you think it’s wrong or bad. And then assess your list. Maybe some of those things you can find elsewhere, or maybe you will decide you want to be in control of what you watch. I’m glad you stopped by.

      Hugs,
      Talyaa

  11. Josie

    I am scared of the dark Do Not Judge Me.

    • wildgoddess

      I used to be scared of the dark too…it went away naturally over time. No judging! I think fear of the dark is fairly universal — lots of people are scared of the dark. I’m so sorry if someone made fun of you for that. They might actually be afraid of the dark too but are afraid to admit it. So maybe you are braver than you think!

      Dark is mysterious. It’s easy to imagine all sorts of things in the dark. Things look weird in the dark. I totally get it. You’re not alone.

      Lots of people use night lights. Using one might help you. Good luck!

    • Clone girl

      Don’t worry your not the only one I’m scared of the dark to and I’m 10 and I sleep with a baby blanket.

  12. Tina

    I searched “what to do when I am freaking out” and this was the top result; thank you, thank you, thank you.
    I am afraid of being a terrible mother. My 10 year old son just told us today that he wants to see a therapist. I am worried he will end up broken and alone with a wasted life, even though he’s just a regular fifth grader right now.
    I am also afraid that the clutter in my house will rise up and eat me; that sounds crazy, and it kind of is, but I grew up in a hoarder house, so housekeeping is a huge trigger. I’m so bad at it. I feel like I’m ruining my kids lives by not having a tidier house. I feel like I’m drowning in my possessions.
    Thank you 1000 times for being here to tell this to, Internet stranger.

    • wildgoddess

      Tina, I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your comment sooner.

      There is so much judgement out there about how mothers should act. It’s easy for moms to judge themselves because culturally we set impossibly high standards for how a mother should be. But your son wanting to see a therapist does not mean you’re a terrible mother! In fact, supporting your son by getting him some outside help or perspective could be a very loving thing to do. It takes a courageous person to admit they can’t be everything to everyone. You sound to me like you care deeply for your family and want to provide a loving home.

      About the clutter, there’s a popular method to deal with it by Marie Kondo. She has a book on it. I’d get your whole family involved and have everyone share the responsibility of keeping the house tidy.

      xo Talyaa

  13. Elizabeth

    Hey, do you have any suggetions on how to calm down over something at school? It’s my fault, and it’s over homeworks I didn’t get in, complete or did poorly on. I got this ‘academic homework referral’. I’m currently a freshman. No one has mentioned anything about it yet. I’ve been really lazy and have procrastination problems, but that’s besides the point — do you have any advice on how to deal with an upcoming ‘event’ that you just KNOW isn’t going to go well? I’ve always been very, very sensitive to criticism of any type, (and that’s exactly the problem, I’m afraid of what they’re going to say. I had to stop myself from breaking down in math because of that.) whether it’s constructive or plain old mean, but if you could reply it’d be a great help! It’s going to happen in two days, and I highly doubt you’ll be able to see this on time. Don’t worry if you don’t! It’ll be great for future preference. I greatly appreciate if you see this. I just need some advice for situations like this. Again, much appreciated!

    (PS- This was a very informative article, I’ll keep it for future reference! c: )

  14. Cassidy the Scared ........

    Dear the AMAZING GODDESS ! I really need some help , I am at a friends house spending the night ….. And their Elf on the Shelf has already come and I am having like clistrophopia because I’m afraid I’ll touch because it’s almost 5:00 a.m. And I’m worried if I bump into it it will be all my fault if it loses its magic , and this must be a phase but now elves are really creeping me out and mine comes December 1 !!!!! So will I still be scared or can you please work your magic and help me ……….

  15. Michael

    This goes to everyone here as a tip for fear, depression, and really anything in life…

    The mind Is a VERY powerful weapon, But it is also a double edged sword. You can convince yourself that anything is happening if you try hard enough, Meaning that you can convince yourself that the Bogeyman isn’t under your bed, or your mind can convince you that said Bogeyman IS under the bed.

    This tip may be a bit vague, but it can be used for many situations in life to help. I’m sure WildGoddess will reiterate my point in a way that makes some more sense… =-=

    • wildgoddess

      Excellent point, Michael, thank you! The mind is so powerful…we can train it to be our ally, and we can learn to skillfully assess the difference between real and imagined threats.

      I think I’ll amend my article to include something about trauma. I deal with personal trauma (mine) and I’ve learned that we keep emotional memories stored in our bodies. Sometimes we respond to perceived threats from that trauma-place in our bodies, and the fear response is far stronger than warranted, in which case it’s very very difficult to tell the mind that everything is okay. Still, with practice, trauma survivors can unlearn the physical trauma response and then learn what safety feels like. I’m in no way an expert in the field, and I very much appreciate how your insightful comment led me to think about this.
      xoxo
      Talyaa

  16. Nicola

    What if I’m a young teenager and I’m beginning to feel alone because I’m scared of an ex-friend, might have a crush on someone who probably doesn’t feel the same, and no one understands that I’m scared, depressed, and weak?

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Nicola,

      Almost everyone feels scared, depressed, and weak, at least some of the time. So you’re not alone in that. The problem is, most people don’t want to feel scared, depressed, and weak, so they hide it. Sometimes they even hide it from themselves. That’s why you think you’re the only one feeling that way. And because people don’t want to feel scared, depressed, and weak, if you say you feel scared, depressed, and weak they’ll do anything possible to not also feel scared, depressed, and weak, including pushing away your attempts to communicate that you do indeed feel scared, depressed, and weak. One of the best remedies for feeling scared, depressed, and weak is helping someone else.

      Regarding your crush – yes, it’s scary to admit feelings for someone who might not feel the same way about you. We are wired to avoid rejection. But the possibility of rejection exists in equal measures with acceptance. You may find your feelings returned, in which case yay! Or you may not, in which case you had the immense courage it takes to be vulnerable with your feelings, a life skill that will serve you well.

      Scared of an ex-friend? Without more details it’s hard to say, but I can tell you from experience that frequently, things seem worse and scarier when I think about their possibilities than when they actually happen. Your fears could be running away with you. Make a list of the real possibilities of what could happen with this ex-friend, and then reassess.

      xoxo
      Talyaa

  17. toni mcclain

    Im kinda scared, what do i do? I think about it every day, and all i ever see is the date its all going to happen. I have to have surgery and im imagining everything going wrong. I can picture myself in the room having surgery and Everything going wrong is so vivid in my mind. I want to tell my friends but im worried they will think im a freak for thinking about that, but i cant help thinking about it. My heart races when i think about it and it gets hard to breathe. I sometimes sit there and cry because the image in my head is tearing me apart. What do i do

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Toni,

      I am so sorry you’re experiencing this. I think it’s pretty normal to have some fear about an upcoming surgery — it isn’t a natural thing for our bodies to go through, and before you experience it there can be so many unknowns. Before I had brain surgery last summer I was very scared about it and had to do my best not to think about it so I wouldn’t go more deeply into my fears. It sounds like, though, that what you’re experiencing is almost a state of panic. When that happens, try breathing deep into your lower belly and make your out breaths as long as you can, like blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Breathing that way can tell your body that it’s safe to calm down. Then, try picturing this in your mind — you are done with surgery and everyone around you is smiling because everything went smoothly and well.

      I would think that your friends would support you — if they were facing surgery, wouldn’t they be scared too?

      Sending hugs and big wishes that on surgery day, everything goes even more smoothly than you can imagine. Best wishes and much love to you!

      xo Talyaa

  18. jack

    hi talyaa. i read your article after struggling with fear with mixed results. i want to ask advice even if you don’t respond because i think it’ll make me feel a little better. i was recently arrested an given misdemeanor charges by police who were harassing me and planting evidence and now i don’t know what to do. i have had minor problems in the past with staying out of trouble and really got a wake-up call before turning 18 and since then i have been working really hard to earn back respect and show i am embarrassed and sorry for what i did. (i didn’t do anything horrible just got in with a bad crowd as a kid and we did stupid pranks and stuff.) i got a job and i applied for college which i had previously been able to attend and have been doing good at always trying to do the right thing but now it feels like my world dropped out from under me. i now have criminal charges for something i didn’t do and i’m scared its going to affect where the rest of my life can go. i don’t know what to do or who to turn to and i have no way to prove anything was fake. i almost feel like i have nowhere to go and i hope this doesn’t ruin my life or any of the very few opportunities i still had. i feel cheated and scared about what is going to happen next… please if you or anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

    • wildgoddess

      Oh Jack, I’m so sorry this is happening for you. I can imagine how scary this is, thinking your whole life will be affected by something you couldn’t control and that there’s nothing you can do about it. You have power in this situation, though, that you may not realize — it’s the power of who you are, deep inside. You are more than your criminal record. You are a person trying to make their life better and contribute to the world in a meaningful way. That’s how I read you. So, focus on that. Focus on how you respond to what’s happening and remember who you are inside. I truly hope things go well for you. Much love to you!
      xo Talyaa

  19. overthinker

    i tried my best to connect with what you wrote but unfortunately, i failed. I’m 18, and soon to be appearing for the entrance exam (this very Sunday) and i’m very, very scared that i might not get in. i’m from india, where the last two years of school we study what we eventually want to take up as our profession (somewhat). I went along with my parents’ wishes (they’re both doctors) and opted for science. Turned out, it was one of the worst decisions i ever took because these last two years my marks dropped to 60% whereas they’d usually been around 85-90 earlier. now i want to finally do what i like and wish to become a therapist (i’m applying to colleges for BA in Psychology). The problem is that many students would also be appearing for the same exam, and they would be the ones who actually had the subject in their last years of schooling whereas i was studying a different stream altogether. There’s also going to be a personal interview for the admission and even though generally i’m good at conversing with people, it’s pretty hard for me to talk to people in authority (but i guess that’s normal), especially since before even telling them my name, i’ll have to hand over my marks of the past three years and i’m scared that my pathetic performance would influence their decision. I am really bad at dealing with exam stress and i usually end up with weight loss, acne, dizzy spells, and severe nausea. I just wish i could better control the way i deal with stress of all kinds because i generally work well under pressure but then there are times when i crack and then it all goes downhill. I’m a writer, and so too much stress usually leads to me writing the whole day long or i go around listening to songs or bingeing on television or reading fiction. Do everything but what would help me. I…i realize that i havent been able to put into words what i mean but i really hope that you get it and somehow, anyhow, just help me relax a little.

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Overthinker, my intuition tells me that there is a great deal of strength in your desire to study what you truly want to. At your admission interview, I would tell them what you told me — that you studied science because it’s what your parents wanted and that your marks show that science wasn’t your passion, but now you know what it is you truly want to study so you know you’ll put your whole heart into it. If you’re handing over three years of history, the interviewers will be able to see what happened if you explain it. You’ll present yourself as a person they can connect to rather than just a set of marks.

      Best of luck on your exam!

      xo Talyaa

      • overthinker

        I’ll try my best but I really am terrified of it all. I fear not getting the answers right. And the interview…one of the favourite questions in interviews are ‘weaknesses and strengths’ and I don’t really know mine. I asked my mother and my friends and they all told me that my weakness is believing in others. I’ve always thought that to be my strength because encouraging others makes them perform better but..now I’m really not sure. I also tend to play the devil’s advocate just so that everyone is represented even if I don’t necessarily agree with what they say.
        I really don’t know what I’ll list as my faults and strengths (except the one thing that I’ve penned a book that I would be publishing). I’m really scared.

        • wildgoddess

          Overthinker, you’ve written a book that you are going to publish? And you are just 18? I think that is quite an accomplishment! Many many people don’t have the discipline or skill to write a book. I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit for the things you’ve done.

          xo Talyaa

          • overthinker

            :’) yeah… i’m good at writing. What makes me tick is knowing what makes others tick. Thank you so much *hugs* even if i fumble tomorrow, i’ll try to draw my strength from the fact that at least i’m good at something. Thank you

  20. Majorinternaliser

    I have an interesting one

    For many years now I have had episodes of being scared of being alive, fear of life/death and feeling somewhat depersonalised.

    The main source of my unhappiness has been due to failed relationships, which sends me into a spiral where I freak out about life, the universe and all the un answerable questions that leave me feeling really disconnected and horrible

    Does anyone have any experience with this or advise??

    • wildgoddess

      Hi majorinternaliser (great name; I can relate),

      I’m not a therapist so I’m not qualified to say for sure, but what you described sounds like you may be dealing with some trauma. I say that based on my personal experience, where I’ve spent years feeling afraid of life and the world, and that definitely affected my relationships. The oracle/shaman in me suspects you may have some kind of energy attachment that’s causing these fears. This kind of thing can be detached safely from you using a shamanic technique. It’s something I can do for you; contact me directly if you’re interested. Another thing that could help is past life regression work. I think Dick Sutphen still does that kind of work, or you could find someone local to you. Good luck to you, and tons of hugs!
      xo Talyaa

    • Clone girl

      Do you mean a dream or in real life because i have an episode in real life when there was a shooter nearby school.

  21. Care to be free

    I am so happy this is the first result in the search engine. AND it really helped. I WAS always really concerned with what others would think of my performance (not so much my appearance but something that is really in my control). I was always so scared that people would sneer, would say bad, hurtful things at me, would glance at me and look away. But your method is really useful. Teaches me not to ‘cover up’ my fears. Cos usually I pretend nothing has happened, or that I have it under control (when in fact i did not). All I want to say is, thank you so much! Now I can go read the rest of the comments on my essay 🙂 and study free from the burden of having to get the approval of imaginary people/ unimportant passersby in my life. THANK YOU. Have a nice day everyone!

  22. Anonymous

    Hello,
    I am really worried about going on this high school residential to “Menai.”
    There are 210 in our year (Year 7) that are going and we’ve all organised our dormitories and there are ten in each dorm. I feel as if I don’t know anyone in my dorm and I know for certain that one of them doesn’t like me.
    One of the girls is really popular and is friends with everybody.
    I am going with someone who I consider as my best friend and have since year 4 in my primary school.
    But she’s changed and doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore and all she seems bothered about is being popular.
    She has been rather inconsiderate lately, and very flippant and I don’t know what to do.
    The other girl I have mentioned could be indirectly nasty.
    Another girl I feel is indirectly trying to steal my best friend from me and my best friend seems to want to go with her as well as the other girl who is very accusing of things I haven’t done. The sort of thing my best friend does is walk around with them with linked arms.
    The other five girls I don’t know.
    I fear I could be rather homesick and know none of the others will be.
    I feel very alone and that I will be judged and I’m scared.
    The residential is on July 3rd. It is for 5 days and 4 nights.
    Please help .I am only 12.
    I haven’t told anybody about this yet.
    This is the worst fear ive ever had.
    Ive never usually been that scared of anything.
    Plesepleaseplase help.

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Anonymous,

      I understand how scary this is. You will be away from home for an extended time, there are a lot of unknowns, and you’ll be among people who you at this point think may reject you. Your fear is grounded in human hardwiring — back in the days of early humans, if we were rejected by our tribe it meant death. So of course you are scared! On some level, this possibility of Year 7 rejection feels like death! So I think it’s good that you are aware of your fears and that you honor them.

      On the flip side, what you probably don’t realize is that there are many other girls who are already feeling some of the same fears that you are. It’s hard for you to know this because 1) we tend to stay immersed in our own experience, thinking ours is unique and no one else could possibly feel the same way, and 2) people tend to hide what they really feel and put up a brave front. You are probably one of the few who lets her emotions be seen by other people, which unfortunately at your age makes you a bit of a target for teasing and rejection. Later in your life, which may be of little consolation now, you’ll be one of the few who bravely shows her inner world to the outside, which then will make you the envy of others who by then will have become so shut down inside their own inner prison that they can’t be as open as you are.

      So, what to do now?

      Be open. Be open to finding friends you don’t yet know exist. Be open to new friends. Be open to being a friend to others who look like they could use the heart of a sensitive caring girl. And realize that some friendships don’t last. People change, especially at your age. You may have developed different values than your best friend, in which case at some point you may go in different directions. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, in fact quite the opposite! What it does mean is that you are learning to be true to yourself.

      Also, you may want to talk to your best friend and tell her so of your worries about your friendship. If she is worthy of your friendship, then she will understand and hopefully adjust her behavior. If she isn’t, then as painful as it may be, you may have to look for friends who will stand by you and who share your values about friendship.

      Best of luck, and I wish you a wonderful, growthful adventure!

      xo Talyaa

      • Anonymous

        Hello Talyaa

        I am preparing to go on the trip now.
        I have explored the depth of this fear and I realize that it is not actually that bad and I love climbing and outdoor swimming and abseiling and all the other things we will be doing.
        I think I was just worried because there has been an adjustment in friendship groups recently (before the holidays) and I do not know the people I am with even though we chose our dorms.
        But thanking u so much for replying.
        Even though my last message may paint me as a sensitive person, i’m not actually a sensitive person but even though these new friends like me, they single me out, because I have alternative interests to them and differing passions; story-writing, singing, Harry Potter…
        And I am not worried about them viewing me as quirky because I love the idea of being quirky but they just make me feel second-best and it is aggravating.
        Though I never talk about it.
        I know that there is nothing to be done though and hopefully a restful holiday away from it all will be good.
        On a lighter side I am not dreadfully keen on this avatar thingy I have been bestowed (a “gravatar”?)
        Yours truly,
        Fran

        • wildgoddess

          Best of luck, Fran! I’ll be thinking about you. (I love your passions, by the way) And haha, I know what you mean about the gravatar thing, but the alternatives seemed worse.
          xo
          Talyaa

  23. Dakota

    I want to tell my boyfriend to either stay with me the rest of my life or breakup with me how can I tell him that I’m really scared

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Dakota,

      This is a situation where you need to ask yourself what you want and what you are willing to do to have what you want. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who only agreed to be with you because you delivered an ultimatum and told him he has to be with you or else? Or are you willing to be alone for awhile and perhaps attract the kind of person to you that you know wants to be with you, of his own volition? The prospect of breaking up with someone is scary, yes. You think you might never find someone again, so you clutch desperately to a familiar person in the hope that you can turn him into your dream partner. But there are literally millions of potential partners out there for you, and almost certainly a better match is in those millions. The fact that you asked this question tells me that your boyfriend isn’t the match you want him to be. I’d chance the breakup. There is someone out there for you that you won’t have to coerce into being with you.
      xoxo
      Talyaa

  24. Eddie

    This is my situation. I stayed at work til 11 o’clock at night. I don’t do anything at all during the night so I work nights. Well I walk home almost everyday, but I have to walk quite a bit. So I call my mom asking for a ride home because I don’t know my state’s curfew. They tell me to walk home. You’re not walking home mister my manager said. So she had me wait til our store was done closing, then someone will drop me off. Furthermore it was past time for me to “be home” at 11:30. Here’s why I am freaking out. I’m not home yet and still haven’t gotten a ride from someone. So I call my dad to let him know like I’m getting a ride from someone because I dont feel like walking home. So, I never got a ride home I had to haul ass all the way home. My parents are amazing parents but I don’t understand why they wouldn’t just give me a ride. I’m only freaking out because it is not my intention to break their rules. Ugh WTF!!! How can I survive through this and fund mutual respect for my parents.

    • wildgoddess

      I would tell your parents exactly what you told me — that you want to honor their rules, that you were promised a ride home that did not happen (but would’ve gotten you home on time), that you don’t understand why your parents didn’t offer you a ride, and that you’re upset about the whole matter because you would have made a different choice (walking home) had you not been promised a ride by your manager. Talk calmly and without blaming (parents are impressed by that sort of thing). And also I suggest taking it upon yourself to find out what the curfew is in your area (they can vary by municipality as well as state, so check first with your town or city) so you’ll know how to deal with this situation in the future. You sound like a thoughtful, respectful, conscientious young person. I imagine your parents think so too.

      Best of luck!
      xo Talyaa

  25. Undertale Napstablook

    Hey im scared and i dont k ow what to do. My friend blocked me and i wanted to see what and why she did. I made Another account on the social media and checked out her account. She was asking to take a selfie of me on my new account. When i said im not comfortable to. She said “I KNOW ITS YOU I JUST KNOW IT!” Please help me and tell me what to do im shaking and terrified.. 🙁

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Undertale,

      It hurts when friends shut down communication without offering a reason or a way to fix it. I’m sorry this happened to you. Is this a friend that you can talk to in real life? Do you think she really does know the new account is you and she’s pranking you? I think you were right to honor your personal boundaries and say no to the selfie, but setting up a fake account to look in on someone can fracture their trust in you if they find out. Plus, it sounds like you don’t feel good about having done it anyway. If you know her in real life and want to keep her as a friend, then tell her you felt hurt that she blocked you and you set up a fake account to try to figure out why. If she’s an online friend, ask another mutual friend to check in on the friend who blocked you to make sure she’s okay. Passing selfies around is potentially dangerous and she may need help.

      Best of luck,
      xo Talyaa

  26. RandomPandaaa

    -_- I have hallucinations. Really bad ones. I see things that army there. One time, while I was trying to sleep, I was seeing things and was terrified at what I saw. I want to stop feeling scared. If I can stop that feeling, I won’t have hallucinations. Any advice?

    • wildgoddess

      Hi RandomPandaaa,

      In indigenous cultures, the ability to see the unseen magical world around us is a gift. You see things that others cannot. If you had grown up in a culture that celebrates gifts like yours and honors awareness of the unseen world, then you’d be better prepared to handle the images you see. What you need isn’t to stop being afraid. What you need is a mentor to lead you through this world and help you understand how much of a gift you have. Look for someone well-versed in shamanism or energy work. It’s only scary now because you don’t yet understand what you’re seeing and the messages in the images.
      xoxo
      Talyaa

  27. HidingBehindAMask

    Um hi. I don’t know where to start.

    I hallucinate. It’s horrible. Some to most nights is full of seeing scary things and hearing things that isn’t happening. The reason I see these things is because I’m scared. I’m scared of so many simple things. Like losing a loved one. If I can get over this, I wouldn’t hallucinate. (Right now it’s 3 am and cuz I started hallucinating again -_-) If you have anyadvice to get over this, that would be great! (My dad is also sleeping right now, and I don’t want to turn on the lights XD)

    Yours Truely,
    HidingBehindAMask

    • wildgoddess

      Hi HidingBehindAMask,

      Hallucinations can be scary and definitely startling. This might sound strange to you, but I think you have some special abilities that are trying to come through. Psychic type abilities. Not everyone can see the unseen dimensions. It’s a gift, but you need a mentor to help you with this.

      Your fears are common. The thought of losing a loved one should be scary! I have that fear too, but I’ve learned to not dwell on it and let the fear take over. The next time you feel a fear like that, move your thoughts to something else. Create a list of pleasant thoughts that you can go to when the fear starts. I did this last year when I needed brain surgery. Every time I started thinking fear thoughts, I moved my thoughts to things that felt comforting and pleasant. It really helped.

      Good luck!
      xoxo Talyaa

  28. Clone girl

    I heard gun fire and loads of sirens suddenly we had this lock down at school because there was a shooter in the area. I had to wait an hour just to get out. I was scared a little bit. The next day I watch and now I’m freaking out and really scared that the shooter will jump out and there will be another lock down even though the guy has already been caught. I was i was like my Teacher Mrs.T She litterly looked out the window for snipers. Litterly. When ever the officer makes an annocement I keep thinking that there gonna say its a lockdown. I hope you can fix my problems.

    • wildgoddess

      Clone Girl,

      You have a very good reason to be scared! What happened in your school was a terrible thing that should not have happened. I’m so glad the shooter was caught — that means that it’s unlikely that anything like that will happen again. One job of the adults at your school is to make sure that everyone is safe, and I’m sure they are working on new strategies to do just that. As scary as they are, that’s what the lockdowns are for. Shootings at schools are rare (but not nearly as rare as they should be).

      I think you would feel better if you had someone to talk to about what happened. Talk to your parents about getting short term trauma therapy, or maybe your school has resources to help students through this situation. I’m sure you’re not the only person scared by the shooting and the lockdowns.

      I suspect you are the kind of person who feels things deeply. It’s a superpower. It means, though, that your response to the shooting might be stronger than other people’s response. So, care for yourself and your tender heart for awhile. If you have a pet, cuddle up. Write your feelings and fears in a journal. Watch a movie that makes you feel good. This is the time to be gentle with yourself, not brave. I already know you are brave because you asked for help and it takes a brave person to do that.

      You’ll get through this. Hugs and love to you.

      xoxoxo
      Talyaa

      • Clone girl

        Thank you so much It turns out the comment from you was just the thing i needed to cheer me up anyway When ever i think about the lock down I remember the funny things that happened during the lockdown like when Mike made a scrap sound and Mrs.T said it was a difference between life and death. His face was priceless PRICELESS. Im I the only one that has superpowers our does my whole class because they dreamed about it. Ps i have another problem. I dunno if I should forgive an enemy of mine for 6 years. Now she wants to be friends but she said something hurtful to me. Should I forgive her or no. I hope you can fix my problems. You have been a great friend to be.

        • wildgoddess

          Some people say that if you’re not an immediate yes to something, then you’re really a no. Since you’re not sure whether you want to accept this person back into your life, you should examine the things you’re not sure about. Probably you don’t want to feel hurt again, which is understandable. The big question, then, is if you think this person would do or say something mean to you in the future. You get to choose who your friends are. You can say no.

  29. Clone girl

    Sorry for my spelling mistakes I was really nervous

  30. Clone girl

    I’m worried about my friend Faith . She’s scared easily. She screams during a fire drill . she was crying during the lock down. What Should I do?

  31. Anymonous

    I am just a kid and my social studies teachers tells us scary stories that really freak me out and it’s really hard for me to go to sleep now and my stomach feels like it’s in knots and that I can’t breathe easy this kind of help me about 75 percent and I thank you much.

    • wildgoddess

      Some people really like scary stories. I don’t. I’m sensitive and have a vivid imagination. My guess is that you have a wonderful imagination, so the stories seem more real to you than they do to other people. Imagination is a superpower!

      Does your teacher know how affected you are by the stories? Tell your teacher that the stories scare you so much that it’s affecting your sleep.

      Something you can do right now is use your imagination superpower to create an imaginary safe world. Imagine the most comfortable place in the world, where you feel absolutely safe and nothing can harm you. Maybe this imaginary place is a garden, or a park, or it’s your own room. Whatever it is, use your imagination to make it as real as possible in your mind. Fill it with things that make you feel good and safe — a special blanket, a stuffed animal, a pet — and keep imagining it in your mind while you take five deep breaths. You can go back to your special imaginary place in your mind whenever you feel scared or can’t sleep.

      xoxo
      Talyaa

  32. Elizabeth W.

    I originally came here because I thought I felt something crawling on me. I practically had a heart attack. I was still freaking out when I read your article and only after reading it i realized my hair was the culprit. I have long curly hair so when I moved the end of the curly part felt like a spider.(I live in Texas so I have to watch out for those). Either way your article really helped. :3

    • wildgoddess

      Oh Elizabeth, I can just imagine that feeling of thinking something is crawling on you! Spiders are great messengers — they symbolize creativity and balance between past and future. I’m glad it wasn’t an actual spider but maybe the spider world was trying to send you a message.
      xo
      Talyaa

  33. Reya

    I’m a senior in highschool and I’m extremely scared of failing a class. Even though the school year just started, I’m doing poorly in my chemistry class. I just did my second unit test today and knew I failed it. Now I’m just sitting here freaking out about how im going to fail my chem class. That no matter how hard I study, I still might end up failing. I’ve never felt this scared in my life. What should I do??

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Reya,

      Even though you failed this test, it’s only one test and it’s still the beginning of the year, so you have lots of time to improve your grade. One test does not a year make, you know?

      My guess is that you’re typically a good student and you therefore have understandably high expectations about your academic performance (and maybe some added pressure from family?), so this failure is a new experience for you. Well, congratulations! Failing is an excellent way to learn. We learn from our mistakes. Now you know some of your weaker areas in chemistry, so you know what to work on and get help on. Yes, get help! Teachers don’t want their students to fail — they want you to learn and do well. I suggest asking your teacher for help, or getting informal tutoring from another student. Asking for help can be a sign of strength, having the courage to be vulnerable. People love to help others.

      What do you plan to study in university, if you go? If it’s not chemistry or something requiring knowledge of chemistry, you will not fail at life if you don’t do well in chemistry. I was miserable at chemistry but great in the biological sciences. No one has to excel at everything.

      xo
      Talyaa

      • Reya

        Thank you for replying! Im studying to be a nurse and the requirements are both bio and chem. I guess I’m just so stressed out that I might not get into post secondary if I have a bad grade. And yeah Ive never had such a low grade so its new to me. I’ve learned that I still have 3 other units to go through but they’re a lot harder than the first 2. So that further steses me out. But this experience has made me realize to study and take it more seriously. Hopefully I’ll do better in the future (pray for me) :”’)

  34. Ava

    What if im home alone in the dark and im hearing noises?

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Ava,

      Sometimes houses just make noises, things like weird creaky sounds or the furnace turning on and off or water in the pipes. These types of noises are more noticeable at night because there are fewer other sounds that normally cover them up. These noises can be scary when you’re alone when it’s just you and your imagination. But they’re nothing to worry about. Turn all the lights on, turn on the TV or music, so things feel less lonely. Call a friend or a neighbor if you need to hear a friendly voice. If you’re feeling a little brave, investigate the source of the sounds.

      I don’t want to scare you further, but if there’s any chance you truly think you’re in danger (for instance if you hear the sound of the front door being opened and there’s absolutely no chance it’s from anyone you expect to come in), call an adult immediately. Or 911. It’s unlikely though that the noises you hear are anything bad.

      xoxo
      Talyaa

  35. ImNotMeanImActrullyJustNervouse

    Just today my mother scolded me for having “attitude” and being “mean” toward this family meet up but, in reality I was really nervous and I just really didn’t want to talk to my family because one I’m not a family type of person and I just really do not like to a group of people that I barely know of and now I’m just scared and feel like i’m gonna have a mental breakdown.

    • wildgoddess

      I can so relate! Not everyone feels comfortable in groups, especially groups of people that u don’t know very well. It’s understandable that you’d feel nervous, and it’s understandable too that you’d come across as angry. You don’t want to be around these family members that you hardly know, yet you feel pressured to do something that makes you profoundly uncomfortable. Tell your mom that you feel nervous and uncomfortable, so she understands your motivation. Perhaps she thinks your not wanting to be with family reflects badly on her. At any rate, may I suggest a compromise? Go to the family event, make a brief appearance and say hello to everyone as a group, and then disappear elsewhere in another room. You probably won’t be the only one wanting space away from family.
      xoxo
      Talyaa

  36. Kantner Eversole

    I woke up in the middle of the night to a terrible dream. I dreamed they me and my family were being held hostage at my house by a kidnapper. I am really scared and I read through ur artical and it helped a lot!! I realize that I am completely safe and nothing is going to hurt me, but I can’t go back asleep without thinking about my dream and falling right back into being scared. Hope you can help.
    -Madison

    • wildgoddess

      Hi Madison,

      Dreams are messengers from our subconscious, and are a way we work through things in our psyche. They’re a magical reflection of things we are working through in our waking life. The kidnapping situation could represent an area of your life where you feel no control or you feel held hostage by someone else’s wants of you. The scariness is to get your attention because whatever you’re working through in your waking life is important to your overall soul evolution. When you have a scary dream like that, try some deep belly breathing (breathe down into your belly) to help calm your fear.
      xoxo Talyaa