Oracle ✥ Artist ✥ Author ✥ Time Traveler

What’s so bad about dying?

opheliaOh come on. Perfectly plausible question. What’s so bad about dying?

Most of us go our whole lives trying to avoid it. Yet, none of us can, not under conditions as we understand them to be. But why? What is so bad about being dead?

When you’re dead, you’re not alive [insert a buffalo-sized DUH here]. Okay, I understand that. Dead = not alive. Being alive means you get to play in this beautiful playground we think of as life on earth. Being alive means you get to play with people you love and who love you. Being alive means you get to experience wind and sun and rain and clouds. Being alive means you get to BE.

None of us really knows what it is to be NOT alive.

I’ve been reading people’s near-death experiences lately. I’m inspired when I read them. Come back and live life after having touched the hand of the Divine, seen enlightenment, felt Nirvana? Sounds delightful. Everything would seem brighter, more vibrant. Colors would be vivid. There would always be bells in the distance. Birds would cheerfully circle your head, chirping with delight that you get to spend another day in this place. Reading about near-death experiences helps me think I know a little more about what death might be like. I think about it sometimes. I never used to, but now it feels closer. Cancer makes you think.

Most of my adult life, I believed in reincarnation. My dad gave me some books when I was 17. Dick Sutphen’s Past Lives and Future Loves, and You Were Born Again to be Together. Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s Messages From Michael. Reincarnation seemed so True. I accepted it. Felt way better than the bleak void of Camus and existentialism I wore in high school. Once I swallowed reincarnation, I believed whole heartedly that when I died I would eventually be reborn in another time and in another body and that I had lived many many times before. It all made so much sense, so much that I became a channel and over the years helped hundreds of people with questions about their past lives.

And then about two years ago my certainty about life and death just disappeared.  I don’t know what’s True anymore. Isn’t that odd? I made my living walking in the world of Spirit and then my security, my sense of knowing how life works, went away just in time to truly contemplate life and death. Cancer makes you think.

What’s so bad about dying?

See, that’s the thing. Other than the obvious — that my Kahuna, my children, and the people whom I adore and who love me would all hurt very much and I wouldn’t get to be alive and see what having a long and awesome life is like and I would think I’ve failed at living — I can’t think of anything. I still believe that whatever my spark of divine consciousness experiences in a nonphysical state would very likely be less painful, less uncertain, and less uncomfortable than living. Despite everything. It might even be a relief.

I’m not ready yet, not by a long shot, but cancer does make one think.


Join the conversation and post a comment.

  1. Jordan Bitter

    Death is painless and there is no fear. I had a NDE when I was very young and I still remember it. I remember most the lack of fear and pure objectivity as I observed what was going on. I too experienced the loss of that security you described, and as you know from helping me it was gone for a good five years or so. I’m slowly regaining my footing. When all of that originally took place it was during the months leading up to my deployment to Iraq. It made me face my own mortality as well. It really does make you think.

    As an aside, one of my classes is studying native american culture. One thing I learned is that a fear of death is a cultural thing. The Native Americans believed that life existed in continuous and never ending cycles and so a trip back into the spirit world was no big deal. Makes you question whether you’re actually afraid of death or if you’ve just been taught to be afraid of death.

  2. Kate I

    Good question Talyaa and one that each one of us will be asking sooner or later. Of course it’s one thing to ask it objectively when we believe it will happen far in the future and quite another to have the possibility be staring us in the face. Our culture teaches us to run and hide from death and to fear it. From all I’ve heard and read from NDE’s and channelings it’s a natural progression of “life” in a different (and apparently more magnificent) form but the human condition doesn’t appreciate change and uncertainty!

    I appreciate the way you honestly and openly discuss your experience here…although it’s sometimes hard to hear and know what to say. From my own experiences, what I want to know more than anything is that I’m “seen” and I’m “heard” so I will say…I see you and hear you Talyaa.

  3. Lloyd

    Hi Talyaa!

    My Mom “crossed over” and came back several times while she waited for the end. She said there were the most wonderful parties going on. It was the best Mexican food she had ever eaten!

    In a dream, I saw my Dad come for her in an elegant black carriage. They walked hand in hand down the drive surrounded by the most beautiful flowering shrubs. He thanked me for “taking care of her” until he could get things ready.

    My family has a video of her last moments. The nurse asked her if she needed anything.

    “I don’t need a thing” she said. “This is the first time in my life that I have absolutely no pain”.

    And she passed on peacefully.

    Not long after, she came to visit me.

    “I just want you to know that it’s wonderful here” she said. “There’s nothing to be worried about. Now I have parties to go to. Bye”

    Bye Mom.

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